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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 3, 2011 15:44:32 GMT
Whoa, this has been gone for four hundred years! Although I don't think it was hunted to death: people said it tasted terrible. Instead, how about... PANCAKES!
1/0 puts cakes in a pan and tosses one at everybody. 1/0's the only person who actually gets real pancakes, and not cakes in pans.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 4, 2011 9:18:59 GMT
Numbuh 67: Everyone, don't mind Numbuh 1/0. He's just one eccentric motherf***er!
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 4, 2011 18:48:27 GMT
There is another knock at the door. Outside is a group of ten people: Sector V and the Planeteers.
1/0: Damn it, every time somebody is here to interrupt our feast! Someone must go to answer the door and see who they are!
1/0 jumps into the middle of the table and spins around. He falls onto 67's lap.
1/0: I guess you'll *points at 67* will have to answer the door!
1/0 backflips back into his seat, kicking cake at the door. It lands on the door.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 5, 2011 7:52:39 GMT
(Does your number, 1/0, have anything to do with the formula y=1/x if you plug in zero?)
Numbuh 67: *to Numbuh 1/0* If you ever ask me to answer the door again, I'm going to kiss you in the most disgusting way ever!
Numbuh 67 answers the door and sees Sector V and the Planeteers.
Numbuh 67: *to the Planeteers* Who the h*ll are you? The Power Rangers?
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 5, 2011 23:11:32 GMT
(It's actually based on division by zero, well-known for its mathematical impossibility. Since one divided by zero would be the simplest way to display it, and it wasn't yet taken, I just went with it. I could have also went with 0 to the zeroth power, another impossible number, but that one just isn't famous enough.)
1/0: I can't help it if you were randomly selected! Now, let 'em in. All of them, even the Power Rangers. (1/0 doesn't know who's there.) I'll get more pancakes.
1/0 draws pictures of cakes in pans on pieces of cardboard.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 6, 2011 9:44:24 GMT
Numbuh 67 lets everyone in, including Chuck Norris. The place gets freaking crowded.
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 9, 2011 3:07:45 GMT
The room expands to accommodate everybody. Then, 118 figures enter: one for each of the chemical elements. As these new guests arrive, 1/0 asks for everybody's attention for an announcement.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 9, 2011 8:37:49 GMT
(I'm turning 27 later this month. I don't want to get any older.)
Optimus Prime: What do you want, young man?
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 10, 2011 3:27:07 GMT
1/0: I wish to call everyone's attention today. There are many people who I would like to thank. Firstly, there is the guy over there...
1/0 points to 67.
1/0: For opening the door to let all you kind people for—
Across the table, there is the sound of fighting. A guy's chasing Shem down the table towards 1/0 with a knife.
1/0: Who are those two people and why are they chasing down the table?
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 11, 2011 9:00:53 GMT
Numbuh 67 turns to see Stalin chasing Shem.
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 11, 2011 13:28:52 GMT
1/0: So it's the madman and Napoleon, I see.
(George Orwell's Animal Farm is a parody of the October Revolution and the first half of the history of the Soviet Union. One of the pigs, called Napoleon, is a metaphor of Joseph Stalin.)
1/0: Anyway, I have just the plan!
1/0 pulls out a sheet of paper.
1/0: In the event that a Soviet dictator is chasing a man who claims to be a biblical character which is almost certainly mythological down a ridiculously long table where cakes in pans are being served, the invariable course of action is to cause some sort of dangerous explosion. Hence why I have a bucket of water here.
1/0 throws a bucket of water at Cæsium. He [Cæsium] gets furious and begins screaming. He runs after 1/0 as well, and bumps into Stalin.
1/0: The rules also state that any resulting fiascoes should be accompanied by a good piece of classical music, on an organ.
1/0 begins playing Mozart on a giant lung which happened to be there. Tin sees that he thinks he could make a much better organ, and so proceeds to get some building materials.
Tin: Could anyone point me to Iron? I'm in desperate need of some of his tools.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 13, 2011 8:30:42 GMT
(I've read Animal Farm in the eighth grade and I know what it is about. When I was born in the eighties, the Cold War was still going on and it ended when I was enjoying winter vacation in first grade in 1991.)
Numbuh 67: This is getting weirder and weirder.
Suddenly, Tin finds Iron hanging around with the nasty ruler, Ashurnasirpal II, an Assyrian king.
(The Assyrians were the first people in history to use iron in weapons.)
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Post by ProteusAmoeba on Dec 13, 2011 23:49:05 GMT
1/0: Ex-actly! The weirder, the wearier... or something like that.
1/0 lifts his top hat and puts it down on his head.
Iron: So, you see, I like things hot. Real hot. I'll only work for you if I get temperatures on the lines of, say... fifteen hundred degrees? Yeah, let's add thirty-eight more. But believe me, I'm a very competent blacksmith. I've been in the business for 1200 years now, although for the first two-thirds of it, it's been mostly decoration. The past four centuries have been really good for me—
Tin: Um, Iron? Could I please borrow some of your tools? I kind of need to build an organ.
Iron: Sure, here.
Iron tosses a hammer in the general direction of Tin. Tin fails to catch it. The hammer hits Numbuh 67.
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Post by Argentine Swordman's Mate on Dec 16, 2011 9:48:02 GMT
Numbuh 67: OWWWWWW! GODF***INGDAMNIT! Why am I always getting hit with stuff?
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