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Post by hypergirl20 on Mar 14, 2007 13:33:17 GMT
That was hilarious!! ^^
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Post by faircod1965 on Mar 14, 2007 14:35:53 GMT
That was an excellent story, and featuring Kuki reading a library book or something like that.
I wonder what the next chapter would have in store.
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Post by crayfishy on Mar 14, 2007 19:33:49 GMT
I want next chapter!
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Post by artgirlb [a.k.a. Numbuh 138] on Mar 14, 2007 21:39:50 GMT
OH, GOD, I think know what this is a parody of...(if I'm right, it's a fic that could probably double as an emetic) Good job so far
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Post by thesuki on Mar 15, 2007 2:18:59 GMT
Wouldn't the correct term be Tapists?
Nice play on words there. XD
(Rape is never done well in a fanfic.)
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Post by arsenault on Mar 15, 2007 2:55:35 GMT
Wouldn't the correct term be Tapists? Nice play on words there. XD (Rape is never done well in a fanfic.) Eh, I didnt know tape was a spin off of rape. That kind of spooks me out.
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Post by thesuki on Mar 15, 2007 3:24:07 GMT
You didn't notice? It's... kinda hard to miss.
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Post by numbuheightbitstar on Mar 15, 2007 6:19:47 GMT
You didn't notice? It's... kinda hard to miss. Numbuh 117 probably just wasn't aware that there was a fanfic called Operation: RAPED.
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Post by thesuki on Mar 15, 2007 6:21:03 GMT
Neither was I. I figured it out because of the parody, and then noticed the rhyme.
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Post by destinyinevitable on Mar 15, 2007 6:47:26 GMT
Hey, I didn't get it either....but then I went and looked the story up. Uh...well...I...will not say anything about it as I'm trying to be nice lately.
This is great, though, James. Really funny. ^_^
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Post by numbuheightbitstar on Mar 15, 2007 11:30:48 GMT
Chapter Two: bathtime boogaloo!
The next day Kuki Sanban decided to take a bath, but a strange thing had happened in her mind--she was so traumatized that she actually liked that sticky feeling, and she wondered what it would be like to bathe in it. Now this is a thought process no normal ten-year-old would have, but then this is the kind of thing that would never happen to a real ten-year-old (or a real any-year-old, for that matter).
So first Kuki tried bathing in Glue. That was sticky but... ehh... it smelled funny and felt weird and she was about to get sick from it. Besides, it got in her hair.
So next she tried bathing in pancake batter, which turned out to not be all that sticky. In fact it was more gooey than anything and felt comfortable between her toes but it just wasn't what she wanted.
Kuki contemplated bathing in tar next, but there were two major problems: One, where would she find that much tar (and how would she get it past her friends without them thinking she was weird? Nevermind that the whole glue and pancake batter thing was already making them raise their eyebrows at her, but she never thought about these things until it was convenient for the plot)? The other problem was that she suddenly remembered that a race of beings known as dinosaurs had tried taking tar baths and, well, look where it got them. Well that and she knew if she dipped herself in tar, someone would come along with a bag of feathers just to embarrass her, and she'd rather be taped again.
Finally she hit on the answer. It was so obvious! She'd bathe in rubber cement! Of course! Nothing stickier than that!
So she got comfy in the bathtub and poured in the rubber cement.
When her teammates finally managed to pry her out, she swore to herself "from now on, I'm using water!"
"You okay, Kuki?" Wallabee asked. "You've been acting kinda weird lately."
Then I rolled a die. It came up on one, meaning the characters don't get to break the fourth wall this chapter. So Kuki answered "I'm... I'm fine! Please let me be depressed in peace!" Kuki said then started crying for no reason in particular.
"It's a good thing we never have a mission when one of our operatives is going through emotional trauma," Numbuh One said, looking at Kuki with worry.
"Well, Kuki," Wally held her hand.
Suddenly Kuki pulled back. Wally was a boy. Boys had the Y-chromosome. The Y-chromosome was to be feared much the same way that foreigners, non-Christian religions, and gay people were. Kuki then realized this to mean the Y-chromosome wasn't to be feared at all and in fact, how did she even know what a chromosome is, anyway?
Chalk it up to the efficiency of the Japanese school system, she thought, regardless of the fact that she never schooled in Japan.
Suddenly her stomach growled, and she looked around and said "So, who wants pizza?"
To be continued! Next chapter: the big reveal!
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Post by faircod1965 on Mar 15, 2007 18:39:39 GMT
This is getting really exciting, but getting good at the same time. Anything could happen in the next chapter.
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Post by numbuheightbitstar on Mar 17, 2007 11:26:26 GMT
Chapter Three: the big reveal!
A spotlight activated on a stage in a stadium where the walls were big and the seats were filled with hundreds of unknown, shadowy figures--a stadium that would give even the most hardened stage performer a case of stagefright.
It was onto this stage that Wallabee Beatles walked, formally suited and as nervous as if he was fully naked and being oggled by disreputable types. He didn't like it, but this was something he had to say and finally get out of his mind, something he had to affirm once and for all. He could not live with the doubt any longer.
And neither could Kuki, he thought as he looked back. She, too, had something to reveal to the world. And if he didn't set a good example, what would the poor girl do? No, he had to say this, to confess his dark secret, a secret that half the world would probably hate him for. He had to do it for her as much as anybody.
He faced the audience, tapped the microphone, and said "Ladies and gentlemen... I... umm.... have something to confess...."
Numbuh Four read his speech, but that was only making him more nervous, and the sweat was warping the paper.
Finally he through it down, and said "Listen up, I am not gay!"
The audience gasped.
"You heard me, I am 100% perfectly straight, I'm attracted to girls, and I'm proud of it!... most of the time. Then they start getting all cuddly and giggly and I really wish they'd leave me alone. But no, I'm not gay. Thank you."
Wallabee took a bow, and walked off the stage, feeling right proud of himself for getting that off his chest. From across the set, he smiled at Kuki. The show was hers now.
Kuki walked out onto the stage, not the least bit nervous. She was a pillar of confidence, a girl who could not be shaken by anything less than a ten on the richter scale (or a guest appearance by Richter Belmont, who she thought was a hunk... then again, she had a thing for guys with whips. Especially if the whip was covered with adhesive).
She didn't even carry a speech, she had known what she was going to say ever since the end of the previous chapter. And she had no problem with saying it.
"People of Earth," she began, "You've been loyally following a story called 'Operation: TAPED' for two full chapters now, and I wanted to reveal something you may not have noticed.
"I ran around entirely naked in the last chapter."
Kuki giggled through the gasps, then added "It's true--the chapter began with me taking a bath, and the author never once said that I had dressed myself, therefore, I never did." She watched the mixed, confused reactions of the audience with a smirk, and walked off the stage with a wave of thanks.
She met Wally, whose jaw was dropping, and stood beside him. No words were exchanged, but she did lift his jaw up off the floor and firmly close his mouth. Wally looked her over, and was relieved to see that she was fully clothed for this chapter. He then wondered if relief is how a straight man would feel, and began to question his preferences all over again.
Kuki hit him on the head and wrote him a note saying that nobody except her is allowed to have existiencial angst in this fanfic.
The two watched as the last speaker of the evening appeared on stage: The coolest, calmest, most collected man of all. The one who could not waver. The one who would not fail.
Zorro!
Wait... he's not in this fanfic! Something's not right here... okay, right, let me try that again:
The two watched as the last speaker of the evening appeared on stage: The coolest, calmest, most collected man of all. The one who could not waver. The one who would not fail.
Nigel Uno, alias Numbuh One, alias Zorro!
... Yeah, that works.
Numbuh One looked at the audience with a cold glare. He knew he was their master, and his every vocal only reaffirmed his authority over the world as he spoke.
"People of the fandom!" Nigel declared, "This is chapter three, the 'big reveal', and so far we have had two mighty big reveals for you! ... I think. But for the biggest reveal of all, we must start with a question.
"As you know, in Chapter One Kuki was drugged and left in an alley. She was not taped by those masked men, since they left after she passed out. So then, who did the sticky deed? What kind of sadistic villain would do that to a little girl with very long hair, some of which would be pulled loose in the unravelling, forcing her to read all sorts of bad self-help books she got for a dollar at Fred's?
"The answer was supposed to be revealed in this chapter, but James is a d***." Nigel looked at his dialogue again, and said, "James is a d***." Then he looked at Kuki and was like "Hey, they let you get away with that nudity thing but they won't let me say 'd***'?"
Kuki shrugged.
Nigel turned back to the mike with frustration. "Fine, James is a tracy then! Anyway, he decided not only to move the big reveal up to next chapter, but also to make a poll of it!"
The audience gasped.
"As an aside, in the next chapter there will be no fourth-wall breaks.
"To the matter at hand, yes: You the audience will choose the villain of this story! Here are the eligible suspects:
"Most obvious is Father, the evillest of adults who obviously must've managed upon poor Numbuh Three while she was out, and thought of binding her when something came up. Right?
"Second suspect is Chad, who obviously has a romantic lust for our dear operative and thought of forcing her to be his bride!
"Third suspect is Donovan of the Delightful Children--that's Jimmy's name for the big, brown-haired one--who might just turn out to have a bizarre taping fetish!
"The final suspect is the Splinter Cell, for... whatever reason.
"Cast your votes now!
"1. Father 2. Chad 3. Donovan 4. The Splinter Cell
The results will appear in the next chapter."
Nigel bowed to his audience, and walked away.
To be continued! You heard the man, vote now and make the right choice... I mean, vote now! Vote, dangit!
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Post by faircod1965 on Mar 17, 2007 16:36:03 GMT
Brilliant chapter, I enjoyed it. Wally looked great in that formal suit outfit too.
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