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Post by pinkdenim on May 26, 2004 18:49:43 GMT
Okay, the urges of putting this fanfic up here have been getting stronger and stronger untill I couldn't take it anymore ^^;.
By the way, you are all safe from E.N.D spoilers ^^.
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Post by pinkdenim on May 26, 2004 18:50:03 GMT
You Always Love The One You Hate
"Numbuh One breaks up with Lizzie and when someone he hates and envies starts to be nice to him he relizes that it hasn't been hate and jelousey he has been feeling all this time."
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Hey guys, this story is devoted to my new fave couple. I'm sorry I haven't updated my other stories in yonks but after re-reading them I have had thoughts of deleating or re-writing them.
I will only put author's notes (A/N) were they are recommended, I wont randomly put my options into situations like I used to. ^^;;.
Anyway, enjoy.
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Chapter One: "What makes her so special?"
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"Kids Next Door Battle stations!" The British leader called to his four teammates as they ran out to attack the other five zombie-like Delightful Children from Down the Lane who sat in a machine with huge metal claws attached to it.
They were, as usual trying to distroy the Kids Next Door so children around the world would have no say in anything and instead be controlled by adults. But the Kids Next Door were confident that they would beat them, as always.
Hoaige and Kuki ran towards the machine but it picked them up with ease, the kids stuggeled to get out but there wasn't much point.
"Hey! Ge' off them!" Wallabee shouted as he jumped up onto the claw, trying to pull them out but another claw grabbed him, it was pretty typical for him to be caught so easily.
Abigail rolled her eyes at how easily her teammates were *defeated*, she took out her 2x4 technology wepon and shot at the huge claw, but because of it's metal material the shot bounced off of it and aimed back at Abby, luckily she doged, she smerked "Ha, Delightful Dorks! Yo missed!". The Delightful Children didn't look threatened at all they just easily picked her up with yet another giant claw.
"Aw, Man" Abby sighed in defeat.
Nigel was the only one left, He slowly stepped back away from the machine and took his communicator out of his poket to call for backup, as always it was on random to the closest available operative.
As Nigel pressed the button he hoped he would contact one of the higher recommended operatives, he took a deep breath "Kids Next Door operative requiring help" He waited a few seconds for a response. Silence. "I repeat, Kids Next Door operative-" Suddenly the communicator started to crackle, "Hello?" Nigel asked.
"Kids Next Door operative Numbuh Eighty-Six reporting for duty." The girl spoke in an Irish accent.
'Oh no' Nigel thought, this was the last thing he needed, he would rather save his team himself than have her helping him.
"Hello?" Francine's voice sounded though the communicator.
Nigel sighed and disided to give her a chance, "Numbuh One of Kids Next Door here, my team have been captured and I need your help.".
"Oh..you" Francine said coldly, "Trust you to get yourself into this mess-".
"Look, Numbuh Eighty-Six, we really don't have time for this.."
"Fine, I'll be over in as soon as possible." Francine said as she hung up, Nigel put the communicator back in his poket.
"Poor, poor Nigel. No help whatsoever. What ever will you do?" The Delightful Children came closer.
Nigel gulped and looked around nevousely, 'Were can she be?' He thought, most of the time a KND member would be over within ten seconds.
"Heheheheh" The Delightfuls laughed evilly as one of the huge claws went for Nigel.
"No so fast!" A young Irish girl said.
"Huh?" The Delightful Children turned to see Francine on her jet-boots flying above them.
"No one attacks any Kids Next Door member." She said, Nigel smiled, maybe she wasn't so bad after all. "..No matter how stupid and pathetic they are." She added only to receive a death glare from Nigel.
"Kids Next Door battle stations!" She shouted as four other Kids Next Door members attacked The Delightfuls. "Remember, just how I taught you.".
The members gathered around the machine, all armed with wepons and shot at the glass part were the The Delightful Children were sitting inside, and of course broke the glass. They aimed their guns at the now-defenceless Delightfuls.
"Okay, Okay! We give in, Please don't hurt us!" They pleaded.
"Then leave the Kids Next Door alone." Francine said pointing her gun at them.
"Okay, we'll do anything!" They surrendered, for now, knowing that they will try destroying the Kids Next Door again sometime in the near-future. The claws suddenly let go of Haogie, Kuki, Wally and Abby as they fell to the floor.
"Ahh"
"Owwie!"
"Umph!"
"Ouch!"
Nigel crossed his arms, he called for backup not for someone to do the job for him. Numbuhs Two to Five ran towards him to face Francine.
"Thanks Numbuh Eighty Six!" Kuki shouted and waved with her huge sleeve.
"Anything to help a fellow Kids Next Door operative." Francine grinned, knowing she was showing off. "Well, I gotta go, Common guys!" She shouted to the other four operatives as she flew away.
"Anything to help a fellow Kids Next Door operative." Nigel mimicked mockingly, "Ugh, she makes me sick!".
"Aw, Common Numbuh One, Don't be so harsh." Abby said.
"Yea', I know she's annoyin' but she did save our butts." Wally exclaimed.
Nigel rolled his eyes, 'What makes her so special?'.
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I hope ya'll liked. Chapter two: "The break up" will be coming soon I promise this time!
Review!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!11!!1!!!.... ^^;;.
~Sammeh
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Post by Stardrifter 8 on May 26, 2004 19:19:21 GMT
I like! Since it's just the first chapter, I'll just say a few things, and not review the plot and stuff.
I like the idea of calling in other operatives. I thought that was cool. The characters were mostly in character, so that was good.
I found a few things however....
"Aw, Common Numbuh One, Don't be so harsh." Abby said.
I'm guessing you ment 'come on', not common.
Also, when someone says something, you should put a comma before the parentheses, not a period, even if it is the end of the sentence. For example:
"I'm sorry," Wally said.
Other than that, I like how it's heading so far. Update soon!
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Post by tako on May 26, 2004 22:11:01 GMT
There were a lot of typos, but the story and characterization were good. Just a few things:
1. Are Numbuhs 3 and 5 friendly with Numbuh 86 after Op. FUGITIVE?
2. I think the DCFDTL lost a bit too quickly.
3. I love the idea of Numbuh 86 saying, "Kids Next Door, battlestations!" ;D
Woo, yay, 1/86! I found out last night that my dad supports 1/86. ^_____^ I didn't even have to do any convincing.
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Post by creelincoln on May 26, 2004 22:12:26 GMT
Why does nobody like 1/Lizzie (it's because she's FAT isn't it??)
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Post by coco on May 26, 2004 22:27:40 GMT
Why does nobody like 1/Lizzie (it's because she's FAT isn't it??) Lots of people like 1/lizzie. "overweight" is a better way of putting it...and people have different idea's of who should like who...and it doesn't have to do with appearence. Hoagie isn't slim but he is still a total hottie in my book ^_^ ---ok im done  |
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Post by Nella (Numbuh 310) on May 27, 2004 1:22:46 GMT
Lots of people like 1/lizzie. I would be one of those 1/Lizzie likers. Hoagie isn't slim but he is still a total hottie in my book ^_^ You are my new hero. ;D |
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Post by kawaiilildevil on May 27, 2004 1:28:25 GMT
*pokes Sammy with one of her trusty chopsticks*
Hey! Post the next chapter! I wanna read it!!
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Post by knd861724 on May 27, 2004 1:29:23 GMT
A lot of my b/f's have been like Numbuh 2. I don't really care for what a guy looks like. It all depends on how they treet u. Yeah, Im sure that I would probably go out with Numbuh 2 if he was real. *despite my having a current crush that is simmilar to Wally** Hoodie and all ^^ |
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Post by creelincoln on May 27, 2004 2:15:21 GMT
Cute, have any of them seen KND???
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Post by NumbuhInfinity on May 27, 2004 4:09:51 GMT
Why does nobody like 1/Lizzie (it's because she's FAT isn't it??) I'm one of the FEW 1/Lizzie likers, too. I'm not sure where Coco got the idea that there are a lot of 1/Lizzie fans.  From what I've observed almost every person here hates One and Lizzie together. Anyway, it was an okay start but nothing in particular has happened yet so I can't say much. Just watch out for spelling and grammar, 'cause I noticed quite a few of those.  |
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Post by tako on May 27, 2004 4:26:38 GMT
I'm one of the FEW 1/Lizzie likers, too. I'm not sure where Coco got the idea that there are a lot of 1/Lizzie fans. From what I've observed almost every person here hates One and Lizzie together. I think that 1/Lizzie is really catching on. I had a poll on my site about people's favorite couple involving Numbuh 1. First place was 1/Lizzie, followed by 1/86, and then 1/5. It's probably not very accurate, but I think it shows that there is a significant fanbase for 1/Lizzie (and 1/86). |
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Post by maxk on May 27, 2004 4:35:48 GMT
I like 1/Lizzie because they relationship is kinda funny. ;D
Anyway, despite I think 1/86 is a crazy idea, this was still pretty good. I would give you some tips, but it seems that eveyone else has already called on the small spelling and grammer mistakes.
But I do agree with Stardrifter. I'm used to the codenames. Maybe you can use their real names when they're not working or something.
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Post by pinkdenim on May 27, 2004 13:02:13 GMT
Thanks guys ^^.
I actually like 1/Lizzie too and I always thought alot of other people liked it. And I don't think the people that don't like it don't like it because she's overweight. Diferent people have diferent options.
Okay, I need to look out for those spelling and grammer mistakes before I put it up on FF.net.
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Post by numbuheightbitstar on May 27, 2004 14:41:28 GMT
Thanks guys ^^. I actually like 1/Lizzie too and I always thought alot of other people liked it. And I don't think the people that don't like it don't like it because she's overweight. My reasons for hating 1/Lizzie (and Lizzie in general) have nothing to do with her being overweight. Heck, even if she were the most beautiful girl in the world, she'd still IMO be more annoying than Jar-Jar Binks. |
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From what I've observed almost every person here hates One and Lizzie together.
