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Post by pinkdenim on Sept 23, 2003 16:07:47 GMT
Rated: PG-13 for language.
Discription: Crush, Realy Unsual Speedy Heartbeating, Numbuh four has started having feelings for Numbuh three, how will the others react when they find out? Or how will Numbuh three react when she finds out?
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Post by pinkdenim on Sept 23, 2003 16:08:51 GMT
I got rid of it because I'd rather it was never read again. ><
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Post by knd861724 on Mar 16, 2004 22:30:31 GMT
man, I went to FanFic, but ya havent updated past chap 3 in like a year!
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Post by pinkdenim on May 24, 2004 7:20:03 GMT
man, I went to FanFic, but ya havent updated past chap 3 in like a year! Well, urm.... ^^; I'm thinking of re-writing it though. |
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Post by otto789 on May 24, 2004 15:32:21 GMT
it was a good story
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Post by tako on May 24, 2004 22:58:07 GMT
AUGHHHHH!!!! Okay, "it was a good story" must be the definition of a bad review. Even if you thought it was a good story, you should at least say WHY you like it or WHAT you liked most about it or something. Most of the time, stories aren't perfect, and saying "it was a good story" DOESN'T HELP. But if it's a good story and you honestly, truly thought it was one, then what's the point of saying "it was a good story"? It doesn't mean anything. You could just be saying that because you don't want to hurt the author's feelings. If you really thought it was good, then back it up! Prove you're not being artificial with a more meaningful comment that goes over what you liked about the story. Hff, hff. Okay, I'm finished. I'm sorry. Anyway, I might as well give my opinion about the actual story now. Although there were some spelling mistakes, I thought it was really cute and funny (I like how Numbuhs 2 and 5 misinterpreted the conversation). I also loved the little 1/Lizzie part.  |
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Post by otto789 on May 25, 2004 8:32:09 GMT
Good story,tell when the next chapter
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Post by tako on May 25, 2004 15:30:45 GMT
...
....
..........
You aren't listening to a word I'm saying, are you?
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Post by cybra on May 25, 2004 18:56:22 GMT
I haven't seen the rest of this story, Tako, so I'm just going on this one chapter. I'll nip over to Fanfiction.Net and take a look as soon as possible to look at the rest if you have other chapters. The characterizations are, for the most part, well done, so you obviously know these characters. (Sort of obvious when you think that is a Kids Next Door message board. But I'm just doing this objectively.) However, like you had "Numbuh 4" say at the end, Numbuh 4 wouldn't just say he liked Numbuh 3. He'd rather be whipped to death first. The way Numbuh 4 gets miffed off at Numbuh 1 at even the suggestion of being homosexual is funny and the brief misunderstanding segment makes the situation even funnier. It had to be my favorite part.  Okay, now for the downsides. Forgive me since it feels like I'm slamming you, but I'm really not. Your spelling and grammar really irked me. Since you chose to spell out their numbers, that makes it part of their names, so their number would be capitalized; thus, it would be "Numbuh Four" not "Numbuh four." This a spellchecker wouldn't see. However, a spellchecker would notice words like "Astralian" and "acsent" in place of "Australian" and "accent." You may want to watch those more closely. Like a briefly mentioned, you may want to double-check your grammar. You leave out various punctuation marks when you need them, so it makes the sentence confusing to read. Also-and this may seem like it has to do with spelling, but it's really grammar-you sprinkled capital letters randomly throughout sentences. That was really strange. Also, for future reference, "blonde" reference to a girl. "Blond" refers to a boy. (Don't worry. I was using the wrong word for years, too.) I really can't think of anything else, so I'm letting you go. I hope I helped. ~Cybra |
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Post by pinkdenim on May 25, 2004 19:22:11 GMT
Don't worry, I think much lower of the fanfic than you actually did, Cybra. I'm very ashamed of it -_-.
I'm glad you nit-picked at the 'Blond(e)' and capitalized names things, or else I wouldn't have noticed myself, thanks.
And yes, back then I didn't use spell checker or a beta, in future I will ^^.
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Post by cybra on May 25, 2004 19:52:47 GMT
No sweat! Cybra's my name. Nitpicking's my game. Especially with my handy dandy Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary. (American and British English, baby!) I'm just sorry that I didn't have anything else that was nice to say about it. I don't like being mean to an author without having nice things to say, too. "A spoonful of sugar" and all that jazz. ~Cybra |
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Post by pinkdenim on May 25, 2004 20:05:26 GMT
I hope my upcomming fanfics will be an improvement.
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Post by cybra on May 25, 2004 21:49:26 GMT
I'm sure they will. The best way to learn is through past mistakes. ~Cybra |
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Post by tako on May 26, 2004 1:27:14 GMT
Also, for future reference, "blonde" reference to a girl. "Blond" refers to a boy. (Don't worry. I was using the wrong word for years, too.) >.> Whoops, it's a good thing that I happened to decide to refer to the blond DC as "the short boy" on my site, and not "the blonde boy" (how I usually refer to him as) and er... now I know. I remember asking my sister what the difference between "blond" and "blonde" was. I guessed that "blond" was a noun and "blonde" was an adjective. ... And now "blond" and "blonde" don't look like words. °_°;;; |
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