Falling Away

[numbuhzero]

Well, some of you have probably heard about my fanfic "Falling Away" on the thread on the Fanfiction board here, and well, I just wanted to announce that I'm *finally* done the first chapter! *YAYNESS!* Well, since its WAY too long to post as a thread (its 19 pages on MS word! O.O), I'm just gonna post the URL. if thats okay that is..

www.geocities.com/mfics_r_us/knd_fallingaway_ch1.htm

Well, How is it so far? Good? Bad? Ugly? This is my first KND fic so it's most likely in need of some beta-ing so if anyone can comment or give Zero some constructive crtiticism, please do ^_^

EDIT: I am on the verge of thinking that the whole thing is OOC so PLEASE send some Constructive Criticism if you can *begs and pleads*

[metallixkaren]

Great fic, Zero! ^_^ Espeically for your first fic!

But I was wondering why Eighty-Six was.... there. o.o In Numbuh Four's house, I know she's not in the Kids Next Door anymore but... why's she there?
Unless I skipped a sentence on accident. (( I was watching a movie with my mom while reading this. O.x; ))

*pokes you* Continue! Continue! =D

[cybra]

The main thing that really bugged me is how you had a summary of their looks and everything right up front instead of holding that for later. Otherwise, it was pretty good for a first shot!

~Cybra