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Post by numberunknown on Aug 27, 2006 5:51:17 GMT
trust me, you want it gone ^_^
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Post by qwertyui on Aug 27, 2006 10:21:54 GMT
:/
how should i put it....
Capital letters hurt my eyes.
And #1 sounds like he treats #5 as a rebound fuck after lizzie dumped him.
3/10 for trying.
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Post by Celra on Aug 27, 2006 11:32:18 GMT
Um....This should go in the Fanfiction section.
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Post by GoldenFlither on Aug 27, 2006 15:57:34 GMT
10 points for the 1/5 spirit, numberunknown! ;D
However, the actual story could use a little work, if you don't mind me mentioning. Its nothing to do with the grammer, punctuation, or stuff like that. I don't worry about that stuff, because I don't need it when I'm picturing the story in my mind. Its the actual plot. Its kind of strange, no offense at all. Why did he all of a sudden run up to her and kiss her? And then suddenly their together?
Don't get me wrong. I love 1/5. Its just the plot that could use some work.
But on the other hand, there's something I really like! The ending quote(s). Numbuh 1 goes, "Kids Next Door.." and then Numbuh 5 says, "..Battle Stations!" I like it because of their past. You took what you knew about it, the fact that apparently Numbuh 5 used to be leader but after something happened she doesn't want to be leader anymore. And then you turned that into a five word quote!
Well, you most likely didn't think of it that way, but I sure did! Thank you for the idea! You just gave me the ultimate ending to my ultimate up-coming story Operation: LEADUH. ;D
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Post by bondagepikachu on Aug 29, 2006 23:46:05 GMT
Awah, it could use some work...It was confusing and badly written, sorry...But, yeah, the ending was pretty cute.
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Post by kukinwally4eva on Aug 30, 2006 8:22:29 GMT
it was a good plot to the story it could use a little more work though
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Post by numbah27 on Aug 30, 2006 21:42:41 GMT
I'm not much aof a 1/5 fan, but I think it's pretty okay.
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Post by GoldenFlither on Oct 10, 2006 22:53:50 GMT
We still love you, hunnie. ^^
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Post by numberunknown on Oct 11, 2006 0:34:30 GMT
i know, it was horrible. but it was the middle of the kight when i wrote it
thanx XD
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cherrycutie1and5
2x4 Technologist
It'z hard to say that everything will be okay...
Posts: 580
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Post by cherrycutie1and5 on Jun 14, 2007 15:50:30 GMT
wow! you stayed up in the middle of the night then I have to say its a really good story. Probably because I like any 1/5 story.
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Post by numberunknown on Jun 15, 2007 7:04:33 GMT
*covers eyes in shame*
I don't want to remember this story. I posted it about a year ago... and it was terrible. It was back in the day when I used to post anything that came to my mind. *shivers*. I was a very spam-ish newbie, and I would put anything up.
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Post by numbuheightbitstar on Jun 15, 2007 7:47:30 GMT
Hun, a lot of us started out terrible. Even published authors (there's actually books containing stories H.P. Lovecraft wrote as a kid and yeah, they suck). Nothing to be ashamed of. There's no such thing as "talent," there's only practice and experience.
It IS a good thing when you're able to see the flaws in your own stories. That's a sign that you're actually good at what you do.
Oh BTW, there's an instance of the F-word earlier in this topic, can someone please censor it?
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Post by GoldenFlither on Jun 29, 2007 2:08:24 GMT
I agree with JamesEightBitStar 100%. I always look back at my old work and think, "Oh, crud. I actually wrote this piece of junk?" But, again, he's rigth. It's all about improvement.  |
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