Post by numbuheightbitstar on Aug 25, 2006 19:34:22 GMT
I probably wouldn't mind romance fics so much, if it weren't for the following recurring trends.
1) Aging the KND
Okay, just... no. Alright, the KND as adults or teenagers might be an interesting concept (alright, I'm lying, there's no way in Hades that would be an interesting concept), but more often than not it's little more than a cheap excuse by the author to totally change everyone's personality and rewrite the canon to whatever specifications the author desires. Kuki suddenly becomes a hooker, Wally is in juvie, Hoagie is a rapist, the KND weaponry, treehouse, villains etc. are completely forgotten. These aren't even KND stories anymore, they're original stories that just happen to star characters who share their names with KND characters.
2) Kids Acting Like Adults!
Assuming the author doesn't "justify" this by turning all the KND into teenagers, and let's them stay ten years old, this is another recurring trend that bugs the beejeebers out of me. KND is unique in one big way: all the main characters are little kids. They behave like little kids, talk, walk, run and play like little kids. They think like kids. They act like kids.
And then I open a random fanfic and suddenly am greeted with scenes where kids are worried about finances, paying bills, trying to maintain relationships, and to top it off they've got a slew of mental and emotional problems. Okay, yea, maybe that last one would be justified if the kid comes from a bad home or a terrible neighborhood. Too bad it's quite clearly established in the show that the KND all have happy homelives, come from a more-than-decent neighborhood, and don't have any underlying mental problems (except maybe Kuki's inability to distinguish dangerous missiles from Fourth of July fireworks).
The main reason this happens is because the authors don't know jack about how to write a little kids' romance (probably because they don't have personal experience to fall back on), so they instead have to "expand" the KND a bit and give them un-kiddish personalities in order to make it all work. Frankly, if you can't make it work with the kids as-is, why are you even writing?
3) Weak Girl, Strong Boy (or Vice-Versa)
Kinda tying in to the above, we have the phenomena of fanfics where Girl A (let's say Kuki, since she's the usual suspect here) is really hurt, depressed, in a bad state (such as New York
), or she just found out her name was called on Bank Night and she wasn't there, or whatever. Okay, she's in a position of weakness, vulnerability. She needs a shoulder to lean on. And who should come up by Primary Love Interest B (or, for this instance, Wally), who of course knows exactly what to say or do to make her feel better. They fall in love.
Okay, you know what the problem here is? The problem is these relationships are hardly valid! The symptom is called "hero worship," and the big problem is that, once the "weak one" gets over her problem, she'll realize any romantic feelings she has are really just over-exaggerated gratitude. If they were trying to build a relationship, it will fall apart like a house of straw to the breath of the Bid Bad Wolf.
So, when an author writes, say, a 3/4 fanfic where the two get together because Four helped Three through a depression, what he or she is really saying is "Sorry, but there's no way those two would've gotten together if I hadn't have pulled this Deus ex Machina and made it easy for them."
There was gonna be a fourth one, but it slipped my mind at the last minute.
1) Aging the KND
Okay, just... no. Alright, the KND as adults or teenagers might be an interesting concept (alright, I'm lying, there's no way in Hades that would be an interesting concept), but more often than not it's little more than a cheap excuse by the author to totally change everyone's personality and rewrite the canon to whatever specifications the author desires. Kuki suddenly becomes a hooker, Wally is in juvie, Hoagie is a rapist, the KND weaponry, treehouse, villains etc. are completely forgotten. These aren't even KND stories anymore, they're original stories that just happen to star characters who share their names with KND characters.
2) Kids Acting Like Adults!
Assuming the author doesn't "justify" this by turning all the KND into teenagers, and let's them stay ten years old, this is another recurring trend that bugs the beejeebers out of me. KND is unique in one big way: all the main characters are little kids. They behave like little kids, talk, walk, run and play like little kids. They think like kids. They act like kids.
And then I open a random fanfic and suddenly am greeted with scenes where kids are worried about finances, paying bills, trying to maintain relationships, and to top it off they've got a slew of mental and emotional problems. Okay, yea, maybe that last one would be justified if the kid comes from a bad home or a terrible neighborhood. Too bad it's quite clearly established in the show that the KND all have happy homelives, come from a more-than-decent neighborhood, and don't have any underlying mental problems (except maybe Kuki's inability to distinguish dangerous missiles from Fourth of July fireworks).
The main reason this happens is because the authors don't know jack about how to write a little kids' romance (probably because they don't have personal experience to fall back on), so they instead have to "expand" the KND a bit and give them un-kiddish personalities in order to make it all work. Frankly, if you can't make it work with the kids as-is, why are you even writing?
3) Weak Girl, Strong Boy (or Vice-Versa)
Kinda tying in to the above, we have the phenomena of fanfics where Girl A (let's say Kuki, since she's the usual suspect here) is really hurt, depressed, in a bad state (such as New York
), or she just found out her name was called on Bank Night and she wasn't there, or whatever. Okay, she's in a position of weakness, vulnerability. She needs a shoulder to lean on. And who should come up by Primary Love Interest B (or, for this instance, Wally), who of course knows exactly what to say or do to make her feel better. They fall in love.Okay, you know what the problem here is? The problem is these relationships are hardly valid! The symptom is called "hero worship," and the big problem is that, once the "weak one" gets over her problem, she'll realize any romantic feelings she has are really just over-exaggerated gratitude. If they were trying to build a relationship, it will fall apart like a house of straw to the breath of the Bid Bad Wolf.
So, when an author writes, say, a 3/4 fanfic where the two get together because Four helped Three through a depression, what he or she is really saying is "Sorry, but there's no way those two would've gotten together if I hadn't have pulled this Deus ex Machina and made it easy for them."
There was gonna be a fourth one, but it slipped my mind at the last minute.
But I don't mind the KND as the TND. Heck, I wouldn't mind a sequel to the original series. It gives them a chance to interact more than just planning missions and stuff.
