Lies, Deception, Fibs, Secrets: When Are They OK?

[numberunknown]

Alright, I recently picked up a book that was called "Lies, Deception and Truth" by Anne E. Weiss. Although the book didn't interest me, it got me thinking. It addressed the subject of untruths, and when they are or are not acceptable.

Most people that I know say that lies should never be spoken, and they will defend that point passionately when they are asked. But, it's strange because THAT is a fib, as those people also tell white lies. Sometimes without realizing it.

First of all, it depends a lot of the lie. Some people say that telling somebody it's Monday on Friday is a lie, some people find innocent and secretive eutrophacation's to be lies.

If your brother calls, and he is miles away from you, taking care of your mentally challenged sister, while he has gotten drafted to a war and only has a few days before departure, and has to work every day for ten hours yet he is only eighteen, you'd think that he didn't need any more stress. When he calls from rushing your sister to the hospital after she tried to hurt herself, and asks you how Mother is doing, you might say "She is just a bit under the whether" when she is on her deathbed. The worry in his voice and the stress you know he suffers may make you say that. Although it is a simple eutrophacation of the truth, not telling him everything, you may feel bad about it. What you said over the phone to your over-stressed brother may or may not be called a "lie".

What about this: George arrives at his first day at high school, ready to be a freshman. Little does he know, high school is none to sweet. As soon as he gets there, he is taunted and picked on, and finally, the biggest bully in the school asks George; "Are you gay?" George is, and he admits it to himself, but he knows the emotional and even physical punishment he will receive for saying yes, so he just smirks and says, "Of course not." Is that OK?

You see, I had the sudden urge to have a conversation about this. I don't know why...

;D

[numbuheightbitstar]

The way I've always understood it is this:

Malicious lies meant to hurt somebody (or to help yourself at the expense of somebody else) are bad.

Any other kind depends on the situation.

[destinyinevitable]

Wow...this is sort of a ...complex subject. It depends. And for that matter, lies other people spread about your friends...when are those okay to repeat to that friend? Sometimes it doesn't help, it just makes the situation worse...So, it's really up to the person in the predicament to make said decision. Personally, I just try to keep my mouth shut. Of course, inaction can be just as bad as negative action in some cases, so...it's REALLY a dependent thing.

[numberunknown]

That it is. And really, it comes up in every day life.

My grandmother is in the hospital, because she can't take care of herself anymore, and a few moths back, my uncle died. My grandma keeps asking about my uncle, and we are afrais to tell her that he is dead. We're afraid if we tell her, she'll hurt herself... But she has a right to know, and shouldn't have to go to the end wondering and worrying about her son.

Also, things like... some non-existant holiday theme's. I don't want to name one, becase you never know what people believe in, so I'll make one up. Lets say your little sister believes in "The Birthday Bunny" and you know it's not true. Telling your sister it's true is harmless, although still a lie none the less. I guess that that could be a... good... lie?

Also, dealing with deception, what about telling the police when you find out your best friend sells heroin? This hasn't happened to me, but I know that a lot of teenagers find their best friends dealing drugs (believe me, i know). Maybe you'll want to tell the police, but what if your friend promises to stop?

And for that matter, lies other people spread about your friends...when are those okay to repeat to that friend?

Actually, this I have expirence with. Things like people telling me that me an my friend like each other... well, we don't talk about that at all. But if only one of us knew, like... if he knew but not me, I'm not sure at all if I would want to hear it

Of course, inaction can be just as bad as negative action in some cases, so...it's REALLY a dependent thing.

Undoubtedly. It really depends A LOT, but sometimes the line is so thin that it is REAL hard to sort out (like the one with my grandma). Anyway, about what you said about inaction... of course. If I knew that there was a rumor about my friend, I'd tell my friend, then try to stop it.

What about this (I think that this actually happened somewhere): There are seventy letters sent out to seventy people. The letters say that the people have won a chance to be on television. When the date comes for them to be on TV, twenty eagar people show up, to find a trap. The cops sent those out to the people with piles of traffic tickets, and are arresting them all. Is that okay?

Ooooooooohhhhh... here's one of my favorites. In court, someone is accused guilty for a crime that they did not commit... so their lawyer tells them to plead guilty. Is that okay?

Gawd, this is making my head hurt.